Saturday, 4 March 2017

When just being a 6 year old goes too far......

When I initially set up this blog, it was to really diary how I found going from a mum of one to a mum of two and well, it didn't go very well as I didn't manage to get the posts done...ooops!

Now here I am coming up to midnight once more and I am typing away when I should be getting some sleep.

The reason for tonight's post however, is because this week has been pretty turbulent for my eldest child who is 6. Yes, I may be a mum to 2 but I am still a first time mum when it comes to the 6 year old in that I am still learning - follow me?
This week (his first back after the half term holidays) I noticed a change in his behaviour, I will come back and explain this later but for now stay with me......

You see, before half term, I was concerned about my son's behaviour, it was erratic and unpredictable to a point and I couldn't see what was causing it, until it started to become clear, he was getting bullied. Ok talk to some adults and it's kids being kids, read your school's policy and well it's bullying plain and simple. This week it got to a head. I've mentioned the hair pulling, the pushing and well all the other things we brush aside as a 'learning curve' for a child but now when your child comes home crying and says that a group of children of the same age crowded him and wouldn't get off him, it feels somewhat personal.
I take on the pain that my child feels and want to find the child/children that have caused mine pain and upset and ask them how they would feel. But I can't.
So I speak to the teacher....again. They promise to find out what has happened. It's dismissed and off we go.

Except I am not dismissing it anymore. It's no longer fun to torment a child so they feel they have to physically push away and then be disciplined for it. I understand how difficult it is for teachers to deal  with all the things they do (my mum taught for over 45 years and I have many family members who are still in Education) however I believe that at this age they are very impressionable and it is very easy to get fed up with 'tell tales' or constant offenders of bad behaviour but what do we do as a parent?

Over numerous weeks my son has put up with hair pulling, his head being slammed, being 'got on' by a number of children, a group of children approaching him and crowding him, other children chanting another to 'get him' as well as events that happened before last term which included being pushed and his clothes being taken and thrown in the mud.

Being told he can't play with friends seems to be the main bone of contention at the moment, for this school year he was separate from many of his close friends and when it's play time he is often told he can't join in, my heart just breaks for him as I was bullied in primary school and the damage is causes is irreparable.

Sometimes you look back on these events and shrug them off, my son has started to by saying that the so called friends were nice to him today so things are all ok, so what if tomorrow they decided to not be nice is that ok too? Schools still shrug of this behaviour as kids being kids but digging around the internet to see if I am just being an over cautious mum and I am getting more and more facts that this is definitely not behaviour that should be accepted.

I suppose I am just rambling but when your child comes home complaining of their hair being pulled or being pushed over would you just be happy to ignore it and tell them to ignore the children or would you tell them to fight back? As an adult is it acceptable to us if another adult was to behave in the manner in which some children do? I don't think it is.

This week in school I hope it is the beginning of the end, I am addressing the issues and how it affects our child and his behaviour, how he has changed from a bright, happy boy into an angry, frustrated child.

Wish me luck, I am off to vent my frustrations with the school next week and hopefully get the issues resolved.


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